It was an Accident
by ForgottenKunai
Summary: It was an Accident. That is all that can sum up how Dakota and Brooke feel about the situation leading up to and surrounding the Hetalia Units they received. Based on any Hetalia manuals on here. HetaOni. :Paused thanks to life:
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well then, new story. This one came from a TON of begging from my younger sister CanDoAnythingNow. Yes we are siblings. I think we have mentioned this. So this is a manual fic (Gasp!), but it is based on HetaOni. You don't need to watch HetaOni to understand though, there are going to be EXTENSIVE liberties taken. Various manuals from many different writers are going to be used to get the aspects of the characters. We appreciate all of you manual writers, you are such a help!**

**No copyright infringement is intended, this is under the Fair Use Clause.**

"It was a dark and stormy night."

"That's stupid! EVERYONE starts stories like that!"

"Fine then, it was a sweltering mid afternoon where you could cook an egg on the side walk."

"You are taking too many liberties with the story."

"Sooorry! Geez. Let me continue!" The blonde said, getting annoyed with the additional commentary coming from the couch. "As I was saying, it was a—"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it! A random opening that has no plot importance whatsoever!" The brunette interrupted again.

"Can't I write a story without interruptions!" The blonde yelled, throwing down the pencil on the notepad she had been writing on.

"Don't talk then." The brunette said, putting in her earbuds and staring at the ceiling. She then starting singing. "Ne ne papa—"

"Stop singing Marukaite Chikyuu!" the blonde yelled again, getting on the computer and opening up DeviantArt.

"You are mean Kota-onii kun." The brunette said.

"Oi!" The blonde yelled back, obviously getting angry. Just then a pop up decided that now would be a great advertising moment. "Grrrrr…"

"Don't kill the computer." The brunette said walking over. "Hey! It's Hetalia! Don't kill it!"

The two clicked on the pop up, with the control panel up for a quick abort. The Antivirus was silent, meaning no viruses were attacking. Instead, even though the pop up was one of those neon crazy You-must-be-half-blind pop up, was a simple quiz without a majority of the embellishes seen on many online quizzes appeared.

**Question #1 What is your housing situation?**

**A: Own a home**  
><strong>B: Rent a home<strong>  
><strong>C: Are at a public computer<strong>

"We has a house!" the blonde murmured.

**Question #2 Do you live with anyone?**

**A: NO**  
><strong>B: Yes; Family<strong>  
><strong>C: Yes; MarriedEngaged**  
><strong>D: Yes; Roommate(s)<strong>

"I wonder why 'A' is in all caps..." the brunette wondered as the other clicked 'B'.

**Question #3 What is your estimated annual income?**

**A: Unemployed**  
><strong>B: 25,000<strong>  
><strong>C: 25,000-50,000<strong>  
><strong>D: 50,000-75,000<strong>  
><strong>E: 75,000-100,000<strong>  
><strong>F: 100,000 +<strong>  
><strong>E: MILLIONAIRE! (Now be honest)<strong>

"There's no button to click for 'E'..." The two said at the same time.

"Jinx! you owe me a soda Brooke!" The blonde called

"Go get it your self Kota." Brooke replied

**Question #4 Is your house large enough to accommodate more people?**

**A: Yes**  
><strong>B: No<strong>  
><strong>C: I don't have a house<strong>  
><strong>D: I rent<strong>

"And the million dollar answer is... 'A'; well no DUH!" Brooke exclaimed as 'Kota' clicked the letter.

**Question #5 Do you have any major, inabilitating fears?**

**A: Yes**  
><strong>B: No<strong>

"We're brave; we don't have any fears!" Brooke giggled.

**Question #6 What kind of Neighborhood do you live in?**

**A: ...What neighbors? (Very Rural)**  
><strong>B: Quiet Suburban<strong>  
><strong>C: City<strong>  
><strong>D: Big City<strong>  
><strong>E: Underwater! (Now answer honestly)<strong>

"There's no button for 'E'..." The two repeated.

"Jinx! You owe me a soda Dakota!" Brooke exclaimed.

"We are tied smarty." Dakota replied.

**Question # 7 What is the age bracket of everyone in the house? (Mark as many as necessary)**

**A: 0-5**  
><strong>B: 6-10<strong>  
><strong>C: 11-15<strong>  
><strong>D: 16-20<strong>  
><strong>E: 21-30<strong>  
><strong>F: 31 +<strong>

"Look, there are up to five buttons for each bracket!" Dakota said, marking one "D" and one "E".

"No duh, they want EVERYONE in the household." Brooke replied.

**Question # 8 Please give a name for everyone that lives with you including yourself on the first line.**

**Dakota Roth**  
><span><strong>Brooke Roth<strong>

"Whoop-de-do, now they know our names." Dakota muttered.

"Well, can't we put fake ones?" Brooke replied. Dakota tried clicking the lines; they were locked.

"Can't change it," Dakota stated. "Shoulda thought of that earlier."

**Question # 9 What Pets live with you? Mark the boxes and give a name.**

**Dog:**  
><strong>Cat:<strong>  
><strong>Fish:<strong>  
><strong>Small Rodent:<strong>  
><strong>Reptile (legged):<strong>  
><strong>Reptile (no legs):<strong>  
><strong>Bird:<strong>  
><strong>Other (specify):<strong>  
><strong>None<strong>

"Aww, why can't we have even a fish?" Brooke asked her older sister. Dakota glared.

"NO."

**Question # 10 What are the genders of your household?**  
><span><strong>Female<strong>  
><span><strong>Female<strong>

"It'd kinda be weird to have a guy named either Brooke or Dakota." Dakota said, grinning a bit.

"Well no duh." Brooke replied.

**Please enter a valid shipping address (please no P.O. Boxes or other of the sort) **

**[Submit]**

**CONGRATULATIONS! You have won Hetalia Axis Powers and/or World Series Units! The Units will be:**  
><strong>◘ CanadaMatthew Williams**  
><strong>◘ RomanoSouth Italy/ Lovino Vargas**  
><strong>◘ EnglandArthur Kirkland**  
><strong>◘ Italian RepublicNorth Italy/Feliciano Vargas**  
><strong>◘ French RepublicFrancis Bonnefoy**  
><strong>◘ Peoples Republic of ChinaYao Wang**  
><strong>◘ PrussiaOrder of the Teutonic Knights/Kingdom of Prussia/Gilbert Beilschmidt**  
><strong>◘ Russian FederationIvan Braginski**  
><strong>◘ Federal Republic of GermanyLudwig**  
><strong>◘ United States of AmericaAlfred F. Jones**  
><strong>◘ JapanKiku Honda**

**We sincerely hope you enjoy your units (which shall arrive in the aforementioned order) and we hope that you enjoy your day!**  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>

**[Okay!] [Cancel]**

"Gak! The Neon came back!" Dakota fumbled and clicked on one of the buttons.

"You clicked on the Okay button!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Oops. We would have enough room for a bunch more people, right?" Dakota said sheepishly.

"Using couches, yes." Brooke said. "I just hope France isn't in there."

"You are worried about France? I worried if we get Russia first or something!" Dakota retorted. Brooke stared at her.

"Russia can be bargained with-you know, with sunflowers or vodka. If we give France wine, he gets drunk and more perverted. If we give him roses, he'll think we like him or some random crap like that!" Brooke argued, waving her arms around.

"True, true. Heck, I hope we don't get Korea." Dakota finally decided.

"Korea would be too hard to deal with." Brooke agreed.

"Or their little versions would be troublesome." Dakota continued with a shrug.

"Shikamaru." Brooke said and started giggling.

~Time Skip (2 weeks)~

_Ding~dong_

"Huh? What'd you order this time, Brooke?" Dakota called out into the house. She was laying on a couch, reading a magazine.

"Wha? Nothing, sis!" Brooke called from the kitchen, where she was making her breakfast. Late breakfast of course, but it was still breakfast if it was breakfast foods-right?

"I'll get it then." Dakota walked over the the door and unlocked the dead bolt.

"Package for Dakota Roth." The delivery man said, looking at the papers on his clipboard.

"That's me." Dakota replied. He nodded.

"Can you sign here? The next one will come sometime in a month." the delivery man said as she handed back the clipboard with the now signed papers. "Here's the manual."

"Uh...thanks?" Dakota replied uncertainly. The man gave a slight sympathetic smile. He then proceeded to wheel a large crate into the entryway. He gave a little wave as he left, closing the door. I looked at the title of the manual.

**Matthew Williams: User Guide and Manual**

"Um..." Dakota said.

"Stop it, you are being weird again!" Brooke replied, walking over with a piece of buttered toast. Dakota showed her the packet. "Oh cheese niz."

"Well, it isn't France!" Dakota managed cheerfully. "It's just good ol' Canada."

"Old Canada? Dude, Canada became fully independent in the '80s! It should be Li'l Canada." Brooke argued. Dakota sighed.

"It's an idiom." Dakota shook her head sadly. "But it is also sad how you know this."

"Education is not a bad thing!"

"You learned it from the Internet. Not school," Dakota shook her head. "Anyway, since we are not boys or heterosexual things like Justin Beiber, let's read the manual."

"I'm sorry!" a faint voice called out. Both girls jumped in surprise.

"What the Eff...censor!" Dakota shouted.

"Gyah?" Brooke yelped. She grabbed the manual from her sister. "Uhh, speed skimming, speed skimming... oh! You accidentally made him wake up. It was the Justina Beaver reference."

"Really?" Dakota asked, looking over her sister's shoulder. "Huh, I guess I did. He is more of an American mistake though, did you see the video of him 'playing' Trumpet? It was horrible!"

"Yeah, but back to the problem at hand-hey, Canada, I'm guessing that you can hear us in there. Are you able to breathe?"

"...yes." Canada's reply was really faint.

"Dude, you HAVE to speak up." Dakota said.

"Right... I'll get a crowbar." Brooke said, abandoning her now-cold toast a few feet from the door.

"It's in the garage!" Dakota yelled after her sister. "And don't leave random food randomly on the floor!"

"Yeah, yeah." Brooke waved off her sister's commentary. "It's on a plate!"

Faint laughter could be heard from the crate. Brooke marched back over there.

"Canada's laughing at us." Dakota said flatly.

"... sorry..."

"Aw, he sounds so cute." Dakota squeed slightly.

"Yeah, but I'm not opening that crate now. He _laughed_ at me!" Brooke said, fuming

"I laugh at you though and you still help me." Dakota said.

"But you're my older sister! You're _supposed_ to laugh at me!" Brooke replied, beginning to pull a puppy-dog face.

"Well than I'm getting the crowbar." Dakota said. "'Cause I'm NICE to people in boxes!"

"Hang on. Canada, for method number four-ice hockey-it says that you're able to break out on your own." Brooke said, thinking.

"Of course Canada is an avid hockey fan, who wouldn't be up here in the north? Especially when the Northern American countries decide to wipe the ice rink with the European athletes." Dakota said with a shrug.

"Right and I love street hockey. Watching a sport is boring-get active instead. Anyway, could you please open the box?"

"You honestly need to get on the ice more." Dakota said.

"I'm sorry for not being coordinated on thin pieces of metal on solidified water!" Brooke fumed at Dakota.

"Even I learned after a bit of determination, you cling to the wall the whole time!" Dakota replied. "And frankly I'm not specialist."

"Right... determination... yeah, I don't have that. I _do_ know how to fall spectacularly, however!" Brooke replied. "'Sides, street hockey's more intense-if you fall, _ow_!"

"I know, I play it with you. Ice has nothing on concrete and gravel. I like the winter version as well, when we play on the little ice that formed on the street." Dakota said, backing up slowly.

"... can you please stand back?" Canada asked. "I don't want to hit you, eh..."

The two stood back as the side got kicked open. Brooke winced as a piece of wood sliced her arm.

"Brooke!" Dakota said in alarm.

"I'll be fine-tis but a scratch!" Brooke said, holding a hand over the cut.

"I would love to continue quoting Monty Python, but that is not a joke!" Dakota said. "I'll help you bandage it."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Canada started chanting.

"Nah, it's okay; I get more banged up in two seconds of street hockey than this. Sis, it stopped bleeding-look!" She waved her arm in her sister's face.

"You are going to open it back up if you keep doing that, genius!" Dakota fumbled to restrain her sister's flailing arm. "Eh, just go put a band-aid on it, i's not as bad as I thought."

"You are so loving." Brooke said as she walked over to the bathroom band-aid box. "You must be glad all my shots are up to date."

"No they aren't. There is a new required shot for college." Dakota said.  
>"NOOOOO!" Brooke yelled dramatically. "How will I survive?"<p>

"By not acting like a Drama Princess." Dakota replied sharply.

Canada laughed slightly at the exchange. "You sound like my brother and me eh..."

The two girls looked at each other and shrugged.

"I guess sibling relations are pretty similar." Dakota said. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to finish reading the manual so I don't keep accidentally doing things I didn't mean to."

Canada and Brooke laughed at Dakota.

"Wait, I don't think we told you our names. I'm Brooke, that's Dakota." Brooke explained to Canada.

"Yo." Dakota said, giving a peace sign with one hand. "And yes, my name is the same as two of the Northern Midwest States. It's annoying when people keep reminding me about that."

"Crap! I'm going to be late to work!" Brooke said after glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Go, I'll stay here with Canada." Dakota said. Brooke scrambled, pulling on her flats and grabbing her name badge.

"I'm going to get off work around 4, see you later!" Brooke waved and grabbed her car keys.

"...right." Dakota said as the engine started up and Brooke pulled out of the driveway (in a car). "So Canada, we need to get you a room."

"Oui." He replied and picked up his belongings. Dakota led him up to a room.

"Here you go! And after you put away your stuff, we need to write up a resume for you. We are going to need more income if we get destructive Units or a lot of them." she said.

"True, eh..." Canada said with a slight smile. Dakota hurried back downstairs to start drafting a resume for the northern country. "How did she not forget about me?"

"Who are you?" the polar bear asked.

"I'm Canada! Your owner!" Canada said. Kumajirou, since the manual had clearly stated this was the bear's name, yawned and fell asleep in Canada's arms. He walked back downstairs to see Dakota typing away at a computer. Canada coughed slightly.

"Oh! Hi Canada. I was working on a resume for you. How do you spell your name? I know Matthew has a ton of different spellings." Dakota said.

"The normal American way would be fine." Canada said.

"You are so agreeable." she said and typed in his name. "I'm having you be from the school Brooke went to, I think there was at least four Matthews there. You played hockey with the school and with an outside group, which changes members really frequently and the coach can't even remember everyone's names. And this will be your first job."

"I got it." he replied softly.

"Look it over please." Dakota said, handing him a copy. "And I hope you have a nice outfit."

"Eh..." Canada said, rubbing the back of his head. Dakota face-palmed.

"Let's see what we have." she said and dragged Canada back up to his room.

The end result was using a button-down shirt Dakota's cousin had left and never asked for it to be returned, Canada's military pants and boots, and the winter jacket.

"How old are you and your sister?" Canada asked as Dakota grabbed her jacket and boots.

"Hm? Oh, I'm 21 and Brooke's 18. Legal to live on our own." Dakota said grabbing the printed 'resume' and car keys. "Kumajirou, can you stay at home? We'll bring you salmon if you are good."

"Okay." the bear said and climbed up on the couch to take a nap. Dakota set out some of the cooked fish that they hadn't touched from the night before.

~Time skip about a week later~

_BANG BANG BANG_

Brooke opened the door and blinked at Matthew. "Wha?" She asked extremely sleepily.

"Get up; you're going to be late." Matthew scolded. Brooke looked at a clock.

"HOSH-I'm going to be late!" Brooke yelled and closed the door in Matthew's face. He walked back downstairs to the kitchen to finish up the pancakes. A few minutes later Brooke thumped down the stairs, brushing her hair. She slipped on her shoes, grabbed her car key and a pancake before rushing out the door.

"Hey! I'm going to the same place!" Matthew rushed out in pursuit with his name tag and a plate with some pancakes.

Out on the street Dakota waved from her car to Brooke and Matthew as they passed going opposite directions. She was just returning from dropping off a couple articles to the newspaper and magazine and the meetings with the two. She had just gone back inside when the door bell rang.

**A/N: Who will be next? Will Dakota accidentally wake them up like she did to Canada? Find out next time!******

**Okay then, enough silliness. Here's a bit of the info sheet we ended up using:******

**Name: Dakota Roth****  
><strong>**Age: 21 [has AA, taking break before 2 more years to Bachelors]****  
><strong>**Hair: Dirty blonde (Switzerland cut)****  
><strong>**Eyes: brown****  
><strong>**Height: 5' 7"****  
><strong>**Clothing style: jeans, guy shirts, boots, camo hat, brown leather jacket (if wearing jacket)****  
><strong>**Job: Writer for local newspaper and magazine******

**Name: Brooke Roth****  
><strong>**Age: 18 [high school grad, taking year off]****  
><strong>**Hair: Short, dark brown (boy cut, so shorter than D's)****  
><strong>**Eyes: brown, nearly black****  
><strong>**Height: 5' 7"****  
><strong>**Clothing style: dark colors, skinny jeans, dark shirt, black & white flats, black jacket (even ****more**** infrequent wear than D's)****  
><strong>**Job: Works at King of Prussia Macy's******

**Countries introduced actual dates of independence/other-ness:******

**Canada (fully independent from England in 1982! NOT KIDDING!)******

**Read and Review please.**


	2. Enter! Romano!

**A/N: And we are back! The "HetaOni" stuff will only get applied in way later chapters so any mentioning now is either foreshadow or accident. And I will try to figure out why those lines I put in disappeared, so sorry about that in Chapter 1!**

**No copyright infringement is intended, this is under the Fair Use clause.**

**Now the New Person is... Romano!**

* * *

><p>"Next time, let me accidentally wake up the Unit." Brooke said, taking a bite of pizza.<p>

"Technically, it's both of your faults. You Brooke for changing my ring tone to Rammstein's "Amerika" and you Canada for not knowing the phone number." Dakota replied.

"Don't blame Canada!" Brooke argued.

"Why are you blaming me? I honestly forgot the number!" Matthew asked.

"It's all your fucking faults." Romano said, scowling at the pizza.

* * *

><p>(Earlier that day, somewhere closer to 8:30 AM)<p>

**Ding~dong**

Dakota ran up from the Garage door to the front door where someone was ringing the bell. She opened the door to see a delivery man standing there with another large crate.

"Package for Dakota Roth." He stated.

"That's me." Dakota replied. "Want me to sign off something?"

"Yes, here please." The man said, handing her the clipboard and pen. She quickly signed off and let him wheel in the large crate. Dakota's phone started ringing right then, playing what could be recognized as Rammstein's "Amerika". She ignored it and handed the clipboard back to the man and looked at the manual.

Just then the song went to the German verse/bridge section. The side of the box was violently head butted open. The delivery man quickly shut the door and hurried away.

Climbing out of the box was a tanned boy, who looked like he was from the Mediterranean. Dakota answered her phone as the brunet stared at her.

"It better be good." Dakota said, watching the boy.

"I forgot the number to my job and we are stuck in really bad traffic, eh..." Matthew said quietly.

"Talk louder Matthew and right now is really bad timing as we got another Unit." she said.

"Eh? Who?" Matthew asked.

"Romano. Tell Brooke that my phone apparently woke him up." Dakota said. An outraged cry was heard faintly in the background. "And tell her to mind the Road Rage."

"Right." Matthew replied.

"I'll text you the number in a sec. See you after work." She hung up the phone and looked for the piece of paper. Dakota quickly typed it in and sent it to Brooke's phone.

"Who are you?" Romano demanded.

"I'm Dakota." She replied.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"Pennsylvania." Dakota replied, messing with her phone's settings. "My sister Brooke changed my phone ring tone, sorry if that pissed you off."

"It's fine." Romano said grumpily. Dakota sighed and opened the manual.

"I really need to read these things before I accidentally wake you guys up." She said. "Thankfully so far we haven't gotten any of the crazy ones yet."

"Who would be a crazy one?" Romano hmph-ed.

"All but the ones we've gotten so far it seems." Dakota replied. Romano had a faint smile for a second before it faded back into his normal 'like I care' facial expression.

* * *

><p>"Romano, the pizza isn't going to go away if you keep glaring at it." Brooke said. Romano picked up the pizza slice with obvious distaste and took a bite with a disgusted look on his face. Brooke sighed. "And we even got the version with more tomatoes, I hate tomatoes!"<p>

Brooke's plate had a pile of scraped off tomatoes on the side. Dakota groaned.

"You eat spaghetti with red sauce, you eat pizza sauce, and you even eat TOMATO soup! Yet you hate raw tomatoes!" Dakota exclaimed.

"I like cooked tomatoes, but not the ones that go on pizza. It's a texture thing, like kale." Brooke replied. Dakota hissed.

"Kale is never good. It is EVIL!" Dakota said. Romano hmph-ed and ate another bite while the others were distracted. Canada grabbed another slice, he was already on his third slice-not that anyone had noticed. He was just too polite.

"Romano, you're going to have to get a job." Canada said. Romano whirled to glare at the quiet nation.

"What the fucking hell?" Romano exclaimed. Canada didn't back down.

"If you are insulted by American food, there is an Italian place near where both Brooke and I work. If you want something else, get a job there." Canada insisted using a no-nonsense tone. Romano blinked.

"Uh, all right Amer-I mean Canada." Romano said. Brooke and Dakota stared at Canada.

"I don't want to get in an argument with Canada, he'd win." Brooke said.

"I agree." Dakota said. "He'll make you see his side, even if you are against it entirely."

* * *

><p>~Time Skip 4 days~<p>

"Get up!" Dakota yelled at Romano. He threw his pillow at her.

"No way in fucking hell am I getting up now..." he groaned out before trying to go back to sleep.

Dakota threw the pillow back at him. "Get up lazy!"

"No." Romano said, hugging the pillow and turning away from the door.

"Well, we could always leave him-more bagels for us, after all!" Brooke giggled, flipping some of her short hair back.

"What is with you and bagels?" Dakota said, leaving Romano's door open.

"They're better and healthier than donuts! 'Sides, I don't want pancakes again for breakfast." Brooke retorted, now tying on a shoe.

"Canada, you try to wake him up. I give!" Dakota said, going into her room and closing the door to get changed out of her pajamas.

"Mr. Kumajirou, wake him up." Canada said, dropping the polar bear on Romano.

"GYAH? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING?" the now-wide-awake nation practically screamed.

"It's Sunday. Church." the polar bear said. "I want a bagel."

"You woke me up for a... bagel? What the fuck is wrong with America?" Romano said

"Come on; if you won't get up cuz of a polar bear sitting on you, I'll drag you out," Brooke called into the room. "And I don't care if you're wearing clothes or not."

"And do you really want an eighteen year-old _girl_ doing that?" Canada asked, grabbing Kumajirou. "Getting up would be a good idea right about now."

"Fine then!" Romano yelled.

Canada walked out and shut the door, trying to keep some modesty in the house.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, the two slowpokes in getting ready came downstairs. Romano and Canada were both wearing a nice collared shirt and slacks, Dakota was wearing a skirt with a nice blouse. Except, she kept her normal boots and brown jacket on. Brooke was wearing a simple gray layered shirt with a pair of black dress pants and some nice black dress shoes she found in her closet.<p>

"Dakota! You are really going to wear that jacket and boots to Church?" Brooke chastised.

"Yeah. So?" Dakota asked. Brooke groaned.

"Three years older, but you have no sense of style!" Brooke said.

"You normally wear dark colors though." Dakota said.

"I look good though. You look like a rebellious teenager forced into a nice outfit and are trying to ruin it!" Brooke said. "Dress flat shoes, NOW!"

Dakota walked back up stairs and grabbed the flats. She sat down and switched out her shoes.

"Happy?" Dakota asked. Brooke handed her a different jacket.

"Sorta; put this on." she stated simply.

"Fine." Dakota said grumpily.

* * *

><p>"Knew you would like it." Brooke said to Lovino. He hmph-ed again. Matthew poked at the remnants of his lunch.<p>

"Matthew, you can order a dessert if you like." Dakota said, noticing his poking at the food.

"Right." He said. He looked at the menu, saying even more quietly than usual the dessert names. "R-right, could I please get a crème brûlée?"

"Right away~." The waitress said.

"Ninja hearing." Brooke said. "That or Superman."

"Only you would have Ninjas and Superman in the same category." Dakota sighed.

"Here you go~!" The waitress returned with the dish.

"She sounds French." Lovino said darkly.

"I'm...uh... Canadian-American. My Papa speaks French." She said and walked away. Lovino hit his head on the table muttering something in Italian that couldn't be anything positive.

"What's up, Lovino?" Brooke asked, sipping lemonade.

"What is wrong with the world?" Lovino asked.

"Everything and nothing," Brooke stated. "What's up with you?"

"Is there a suicidal mode on Lovino?" Dakota whispered to Matthew, who glanced at Romano's manual after taking it from Brooke's bag.

"... I don't think so...he's just acting normally." Matthew whispered. Romano flicked a piece of food at Matthew.

"I heard that Bast-!" Romano started before Brooke clapped her hand over his mouth.

"No bad language, there are children present!" She said and removed her hand before he got clever enough to lick it.

"Fine." Lovino said, hiding a slight wince. Brooke had also kicked him under the table. No wonder he hadn't been talking much.

Back inside, the waitress tried to regain her composure. So far there haven't been any Units here, but then suddenly two show up out of nowhere.

"Calm down Mon, it isn't the end of the world. THAT one isn't with them." She said to herself. "My cover story is good enough."

"Eh, who am I kidding. I said I was from one of the countries that were there! I'm in trouble." 'Mon' panicked.

"Be serious now, I have to have a clear head about this." She continued to discuss with herself. "They probably didn't recognize me, so I'm still good. If I act weird then they will notice."

"Yeah, if I don't act weird they won't guess I'm Monaco. They'll just think I'm just the Canadian-American waitress named Adrienne."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well then, apparently Dakota and Brooke aren't the only ones in the area with Units. Monaco apparently thought she was the only one for a while there. I guess people can figure out who she is referring to as "THAT one". Reviews telling us there was a weird mistake are appreciated.**

**Look up Rammstein's "Amerika" if you are curious, though I recommend lyric videos~**

**Yay lines! They somehow don't transfer well from Google Docs to Word to the Doc Uploader on here.  
><strong>

**Spoiler? There is another country that Brooke and Dakota will get which was NOT on the list in chapter one. They will be revealed in a later chapter (could be the next chapter~ no guarantees there though!)**

**Dates of Countries~**

**S. Italy: (if Sicily) ~750 BC OR (if Naples)anywhere from the 9th century BC to the 7th. Either way, both of those were Greek colonies during the Hellenistic age of Greece.**

**Canada: 1982 (the oldest Canadian after getting Independence would be 29 years old)**


	3. The Brit and the Nincompoop

**A/N: That was weird last time. Monaco is going to be prevented from getting in the ending from here on out, so don't worry.**

**Monaco: HEY!**

**Canada: Please don't shout...**

**Romano: I don't care. Get going with the story. Which bast-!**

**Brooke: No foul Language!**

**Dakota: Quack. There, FOWL language.**

**No copyright infringement is intended, this is under the Fair Use clause.**

**Next one's... *Drum Roll* England and ? ? ?  
><strong>

* * *

><p>(Set the next day)<p>

Brooke sighed and leaned back. Today was one of her random furlough day at Macy's, since they wanted to keep profits up, all workers would get a few furlough days on different days of the month. So it wasn't really random, but she preferred to call it that-and wrote it that way on the calendar.

_Ding~dong_

Brooke got up and walked to the door. Canada had gotten a driving license in with Romano's manual, why it was with Romano was beyond all of them. But he was a pretty good driver, not scary like Romano.

So Canada had driven himself and Romano to their jobs, Dakota had a big meeting at one of the places she wrote for, and Brooke had her day off.

"Hello." Brooke said as she opened the door. There was a deliveryman with a large crate.

"Package for Dakota Roth." He stated.

"Yes, you can bring it inside." Brooke said. He handed her a clipboard and a pen before he wheeled in the crate. Brooke scribbled something in cursive that looked vaguely like her sister's signature, with very obvious 'D' and 'R' letters. She handed the clipboard and pen back to the deliveryman, who took it and handed her a manual.

"Good luck miss." He turned and left. Brooke looked at the manual.

**Arthur Kirkland: User Guide and Manual**

"Okay, since I'm not Dakota, I'm going to read the manual's wake up instructions." Brooke said to herself. Just then her cell phone when off, blaring an instrumental version to "The Star-Spangled Banner".

Brooke panicked, that was exactly one of the worse wake-up methods.

"What the Bloody hell?" England yelled. She opened her phone, shutting off the song.

"What is it?" Brooke snapped at her phone.

"Just calling to tell you I'm going to be getting back around two. Like your ring tone?" Dakota asked.

"We got _ENGLAND_!" Brooke said.

"Good luck with that!" Dakota hung up. Just then, the crate exploded. As England stepped out of the side he punched open, a white blur came flying down the stairs.

England then started chasing Brooke, while being chased by Kumajirou. To an outside observer, it would be quite the scene to watch. However Brooke ended it quickly by running past a door and opening it right in England's way.

"Is he dead?" Kumajirou asked, nudging the unconscious nation. Brooke knelt down and felt for a pulse.

"No. He's alive, just unconscious." Brooke decided.

"Aw." Kumajirou walked away dejectedly.

"There goes the attack polar bear." Brooke said. "Now about you England, you are probably heavier then me. I don't think I can magically get you on a couch."

Brooke tried picking up his arm.

"Holy cheese niz England! You are a girl in weight!" Brooke said startled. "You can't even be 140 or 150! Well, anyway, now you're on the couch at least. Now to find the manual. Manual? Accio manual!"

Nothing happened.

"Well, it was worth a try." Brooke sighed. She picked up the manual (after finding it next to the wreckage of his crate) and looked at the weight estimation.

"Bah! US government, why you no switch to metric?" Brooke said as she got on her computer to convert the weight. "You are a girl with your weight! Stupid British food..."

"Nyyggh..." A groan came from the couch. "Wh-what are you calling stupid you Yank?"

"Gyah! Y-you're awake..." Brooke squeaked.

"I feel like I ran into a wall or got really drunk. Don't tell me it was getting drunk." England rubbed his head.

"Y-you mean you don't remember?" Brooke said, looking a bit shocked.

"Wait, you were the one with the Psychotic polar bear. Who are you exactly?" England asked.

"My name's Brooke, the polar bear was Kumajirou-Canada's pet." Brooke explained.

"Canada?" England asked confused.

"You know that colony that became independent in the '80s, the one more northern than the United States in North America, the one that landed at Juno beach during the D-Day Invasion. That Canada." Brooke said. "Now can you remember?"

"Oh, yes! Matthew! He was one of the former colonies of the Frog." England said.

"See! Now you remember! Geez, the second largest country isn't THAT hard to forget." Brooke said.

"... Very well then. I sincerely apologize for my behavior earlier." England apologized.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Brooke said.

The two stood there, well, sat- England was still sitting on the couch and Brooke was in the computer chair.

"Do you want something to eat?" Brooke finally asked.

"Let me." England said. Brooke paled.

"No, no! That's okay! I hit you with the door, so I should cook!" Brooke said desperately. The manual said _explicitly_to not let him cook.

_Ding~dong_

"Well, I'm popular today. England, stay out of the kitchen." Brooke ordered. England shrugged and followed Brooke to the door. It was the deliveryman, AGAIN.

"You got two, I'm sorry!" the man said and wheeled in the crate. "I'm kinda new at this so, yeah."

"It's okay. Can I have the manual?" Brooke asked. "We all mess up in our first week or so of work."

He handed the manual to Brooke and left, claiming something about getting behind in deliveries.

Brooke looked at the title of the manual, making sure her phone was turned off.

**Antonio Fernandez Carriedo: User Guide and Manual**

"Oh, BLEEP!" Brooke said, quickly looking at the wake up methods.

"What is it?" England asked.

"You, stay quiet! I need to finish reading this before waking him up. Too many situations were caused by not finishing reading the manual." Brooke said, pointing at England.

"Is it the Git?" England asked.

"I told you to be quiet. And it's not America." Brooke said.

"Who is it then?" England demanded.

"Obviously you do not understand that I asked you to be quiet, but I will tell you. I think it's Spain." Brooke said.

"Oh. Just him. He's pretty harmless. Except, he wasn't on the list. Odd." England said, wandering over to his box.

"What list?" Brooke asked. "England!"

"The countries you are getting. We have a rough idea of who's coming, but they make sure the Bad Touch Trio does NOT get sent to young people after what happened." England said.

"What happened?" Brooke asked.

"A young girl got stuck with the Bad Touch Trio. All of her other Units took the other side from them. It was a Unit World War. They ended up having to send someone out to shut them down." England shuddered.

"So the worst fear of a Unit is to get shut down?" Brooke asked. England nodded. "But... aren't you people too? So, wouldn't it be murder?"

England sighed. "I really don't know now."

Brooke blinked a few times at him before turning to the box. "Now to wake you up... ah, that'll work since I know some passable Spanish~!"

Brooke cleared her throat as she looked at the box. "Hola, amigo~! ¿Como estas?" she attempted to chirrup in her best probably-Mexican accent she could muster.

"¿Méjico?" A voice asked. If this was an anime, Brooke and England would have sweat-dropped right then and there.

"Uhh... no..." Brooke said, staring at the crate.

"Aw..." the voice said. "I thought it was my darling Méjico."

"W-well, I do know a bit of Mexican-Spanish..." Brooke said, trailing off.

"Don't encourage him." England said darkly, looking at the manual. "Hey Spain, get out of there, you look like an idiot."

Brooke glared at England. "Don't be rude!" she snapped at him.

"Inglaterra!" Spain exclaimed.

"Great, now he's freaking out." Brooke said, slapping her forehead with the manual.

"I don't have my navy." England said. Suddenly Spain started laughing.

"That is a difficult situation you are in, mi amigo." Spain said.

"At least I'm not in a box." England retorted. Spain stopped.

"Eh ahahaha! I knew that!" Spain said and shouldered a side open. "See!"

"You don't have a navy either, or an army." England said plainly. "We don't have _any_military at all."

"Right, right, guys, cut it out! Hello, Spain, I'm Brooke. You know England already, I'm guessing. Currently we're in Pennsylvania and here's a tomato." Brooke said, appearing to pull a tomato out of thin air.

"Why does he get something to eat first?" England complained

"Because he'll just want a tomato. Besides, you are a gentleman." Brooke stated, walking into the kitchen. "Gentlemen don't cook."

"Ouch." Spain said as he walked past England, who was standing stupefied, and over into the kitchen.

"Hmm, so I've got this recipe for tamales... I've got the stuff to make it..." Brooke mumbled as she looked at a scrap of paper and the insides of the refrigerator. "Guess I'm making it then. Oh, hi Spain!"

"Hola~" Spain said, finishing the tomato. "Inglaterra is standing still over there, is he okay?"

"Of course you don't check." Brooke muttered darkly. "I'll see. Oi, England! ENGLAND!"

"Huh?" England said. "Sorry."

* * *

><p>"What? You got the Bastard?" Romano yelled, pointing at Spain as he, Canada, and Dakota all returned home. Everyone, excluding Romano and Spain, flinched at his yelling.<p>

"Please not so loud." Canada said. Romano did not pay him any attention. England walked into the room to see what the yelling was about.

"And you got that bastard was well?" Romano continued yelling, gesturing toward England.

"Romano, chill." Dakota said. Romano ignored her as well.

"I don't like being called that!" England said annoyed. Romano just redirected his yelling at Spain.

"What the Fuck to you think you are doing here?" Romano continued, and then kept screaming.

"I came~." Spain said blissfully ignoring that Romano was screaming his head off.

"Romano, shut up." Brooke tried, and was ignored.

"SHUT UP!" Canada yelled, louder than Romano. This time Romano fell silent in surprise. "Thank you."

Everyone blinked in surprise. How hadn't they noticed, in England and Spain's cases, or known, in everyone else's cases, that Canada could yell so loudly. Maybe it was from playing hockey.

Canada then returned to invisible mode, slightly embarrassed for some reason.

"Uh, thank you Canada." Dakota said. "Now then, we have both Spain and England. You two are going to have to get jobs."

"Why?" Spain asked.

"Because you make Romano angry. And I think Romano breaks stuff when he's angry. And also you two eat a ton of tomatoes, which few others in this house do." Brooke explained.

"And not just because I trust you even less than the others." Dakota murmured darkly. The house was in her name, so she didn't want to deal with damages.

"Hm, sí!" Spain said.

"Why not." England sighed. "As long as I don't have to deal with this idiot."

"You guys probably won't have the same job," Brooke said. "Your personalities are wildly different."

"I doubt you could even get hired at the same place. Most places are looking for one person. Canada, is that spa still hiring?" Dakota asked.

"Oui. They still have the sign up." Canada agreed. "And it is on the other side of the mall than your place Romano."

"Good." Romano huffed. "I don't want to see that bastard more than I have to."

"What about me?" England asked.

"There's a little bookstore in the mall as well. You could probably get hired there." Romano said more calmly. Brooke and Dakota exchanged a worried glance. Apparently the manual didn't mention Romano occasionally being calm and rational.

"Aw, my little tomato~."Spain said affectionately, draping his arm around Romano's shoulders.

"I. Am. Not. A. Fucking. Tomato." Romano retorted, glaring daggers at Spain. The others looked at each other worriedly.

"Spain does know that tomatoes are plants, right?" Dakota asked. England and Canada shrugged.

"I really don't know about that idiot." England said. "I really don't."

"Great. A nincompoop." Brooke said bluntly.

Canada pulled England and Romano into his room while Brooke was arguing with Spain over if she was Mexico or not. Dakota had busied herself with fudging resumes for the two downstairs.

"Since I read our manual, I have to say it applies to us in the least to us." Canada said, keeping his normal quiet tone.

"How so?" England asked. Romano raised an eyebrow as his question.

"Going down the list; we have two female owners both in the 18 to 28 bracket, they are not freaks, and they haven't once set any of us up." Canada listed off.

"They got the tomato bastard." Romano argued while continuing to sulk. England turned to him.

"But right now they are separating you two because you expressed an interest in not associating much with him. I agree with you, uh..." England trailed off. "Uh..."

"Canada." Canada reminded him.

"Oh yes, Canada."

"You forgot him, didn't you." Romano scowled. "I'm surrounded by hot girls, a bastard, an invisible person, and a forgetful ex-pirate. Why is my life so damn weird?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What a wonderful summary Romano. We can definitely see your priorities. Chicks before 'bastards', then the invisible person before England. Man...why are all the hilarious people coming later? Random . org why you put most of the funnies later? Unless I start doing doubles... (kol kol kol kol kol) **

**CanDoAnythingNow, stop showing me disturbing sketches of vampire hamsters and having me look up sickles on google images. 4 communist symbols popped up on the first page. Now she somehow, by banging the keyboard, put the computer on standby.**


	4. Idiots and Pervs United

**A/N: Hiya! (puts down pokemon mystery dungeon game) Uh... that was Wigglytuff's line. Yeah, I was multi-tasking, playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Sky and working on this.**

**We own nothing beyond Dakota and Brooke and our own randomness. No infringement is intended.**

* * *

><p>~(Time Skip a week)~<p>

"I'm am telling you for the ga-millionth time, I AM NOT MEXICO NINCOMPOOP!" Brooke yelled at Spain.

"Aw, Méjico, please stop yelling." Spain tried.

Brooke just screamed in frustration.

"I'm going to go tell our neighbors that our annoying cousin is visiting and Brooke is getting extremely frustrated. No need to get the police involved." Dakota said, slipping on her shoes and opening the door. "Try to keep her from strangling him, m'kay?"

The other countries, excluding Spain, looked at each other worriedly; Dakota smiled and shut the door before they could respond.

For someone who had a bad habit of accidentally waking up the units, Dakota had good timing as their neighbor was just about to go for the phone to get the police.

"Please understand, he drives Brooke up the wall with his snide remarks. I will try to talk to him again to get him to stop. I'm so terribly sorry, our Aunt and Uncle kind of dropped him off on us and didn't tell us how long he was going to be staying." Dakota fibbed, keeping a pleading expression on her face.

"I had one of those cousin's too. Now he lives in Alaska. Dunno what he's up to anymore." The neighbor said. "Good luck with all of your cousins, sound's like you need it."

"Thank you for being so understanding." Dakota replied. "Hope the rest of your day is better."

"Your's too."

* * *

><p>Dakota walked back along the sidewalk to her own house after explaining the fibbed situation to all of her neighbors in earshot of Brooke's screaming. She stopped at the mailbox to see if they had any mail when a mint-green delivery van pulled up. A man got out and started wheeling up one crate, which was suspiciously familiar, and then got another one.<p>

"Who are those for?" Dakota asked.

"Um, a Dakota Roth." the deliveryman said.

"That's me. Matt, open the door!" Dakota called. The door swung open with an unseen force, also called Canada. "Ignore the yelling, it's just a unit and my sister."

"Méjico~."

"Nincompoop!"

"Méjico~."

"Nincompoop!"

"Uh...what are they yelling about?" the deliveryman asked as he wheeled up the second crate.

"Whether my sister is Mexico or not, and my sister calling him a 'nincompoop'."Dakota replied. She turned to Canada. "Has Brooke tried to strangle him yet?"

"No, but she flipped you off when you said that." Canada replied.

"Right then...can you sign here and here please miss?" Deliveryman, what is this the fourth one now, number Four asked.

"Two signatures, who are we getting?" Dakota mused as she signed and took the two manuals.

"Canada, I bet you can't cook a damn thing other than pancakes!" Romano boasted loudly to be heard over the two yelling people, which happened to fall silent just as he added his own statement. "Unlike me and my Fratello!"

_Thud._

"Wah!" one of the crates started crying after an e_xtremely_weak thud. "Please help me, the box is very hard and dark and is very scary!"

Everyone looked out the door onto the porch where the crying box was sitting next to a completely unaffected crate.

"Uh... you can bring the crates in, ya know." Dakota said to Deliveryman number Four.

"Right." the deliveryman said after a second pause. He wheeled in the crying crate first, then the other one. Canada, ignoring the crying, went into the kitchen-singing softly some French song.

"Alouette, gentille Alouette  
>Alouette, je te plumerai<br>Je te plumerai _la tête_  
>(Je te plumerai <em>la tête<em>)  
>Et <em>la tête<em>  
>(Et <em>la tête<em>)  
>Alouette<br>(Alouette)  
>O-o-o-oh..."<p>

_WHAM._

Suddenly, the other box side burst open revealing none other than France who promptly followed the singing and grabbed Canada's, well, ass.

"Wha-?" Brooke cut off before responding to another 'Méjico' comment, seeing as Canada was around six feet away from her. "Nincompoop! Canada's being molested!"

"Papa!" Canada exclaimed sharply and hit the offending Frenchman on the head. "NON!"

"Oh, but why, my little Matthieu~." France asked pleadingly.

"No sexual harassment in my household." Dakota threatened, cracking her knuckles and summoning "The Rage of the American Woman."

"Well, technically, Big Sister, it's _our_household~" Brooke said carefully, stepping away as she said that.

"Got it Frog?" Dakota continued, saying the last word with as much disgust as possible-short of spitting on the other's shoes.

France cowered in fright. Canada took a precautionary step away, "The Rage of the American Woman" also applied to Canadian women-and it was sometimes far worse than "Hockey Rage".

"O...o...oui." France stammered. Dakota gave him one final glare.

"Good." She said and walked out of the room to the office room where the computers were. The half-slammed door made it apparent to leave her alone.

The room remained silent for another minute before Romano remembered. "Veneziano is still in the box."

"OH! Uhm, now where's a crowbar when you need one..." Brooke said, going to look for a crowbar.

"The shed perhaps?" England suggested, appearing out of nowhere.

"What shed?" Brooke said, utterly confused.

"He means the garage!" Dakota yelled through the door. She then said something incomprehensible, which was most likely: "Stupid Brits back during revolution not letting Americans use the same English after independence."

"O-oh! I knew that!" Brooke said. "England, come help me find it!"

"Why me?" England asked.

"France is scared out of his wits, Romano is headbutting Spain, Canada is in the kitchen proving he can cook food that isn't pancakes and Dakota went recluse. Besides, aren't you a gentleman?" Brooke listed off.

"Ah, right. A gentleman must always help a lady." England said, following Brooke to the garage/shed.

"Someone's taking advantage of that." Canada said. France sat in one of the kitchen chairs, still being quiet.

"T..that w...was..." France started.

"That was Dakota. I've been here a month, which is the longest of all of the units here, and I never saw her act like that until today." Canada said, messing with some ingredients in a bowl.

"A month and at 6 units?" France asked.

"Our manual doesn't apply to them, at least so far as I've seen." Canada said. Suddenly Dakota came out of the office.

"Yes! It came!" Dakota said excitedly.

"What did?" Canada and France asked.

"The movie 'Brother Bear'!" She said, holding a DVD case.

"Isn't that rated G? And aren't you a little old for movies like that?" Canada asked.

"No one is too old to laugh at Brother Bear. Everyone who watched it has at least one scene memorized by heart." Dakota defended.

"Or are you just afraid to watch horror films with us around?" France suggested.

"We found it!" Brooke exclaimed, holding up a crowbar. "Hey, is that... Ohmigosh IT"S BROTHER BEAR! How ya doin', eh?"

"Please don't start that again." Dakota said. "Just, don't."

"Aw..." Brooke said disappointed.

"Are you done? My fratello is _still_in the box!" Romano yelled.

"Oh yeah." Brooke said and started prying the lid off the box. "Sorry about that Ita-wha!"

"Thank you for saving me from the scary box!" Italy said, hugging Brooke.

"Sister, now I get why you are hesitant to go watch scary movies with the guys." Brooke said.

"Now you get it." Dakota smiled.

"Veneziano!" Romano said sternly.

"Vee? Oh, it's fratello!" Italy said, letting go of Brooke.

"Air! Precious air!" Brooke gasped.

"Wait, today's the third." Dakota said, thinking. Brooke looked at her confusedly.

"And..." she said, trailing off.

"The third of October! We forgot! These guys don't have costumes!" Dakota exclaimed. England and Canada paled, over thinking the extent that Dakota was imagining for costumes.

"You're right! Do you still fit your Link costume?" Brooke asked.

"If that was a subtle question about my chest size, no, I have not grown that way or taller." Dakota said, glaring at Brooke.

"I didn't mean it entirely like that!" Brooke defended. France laughed, Canada face-palmed, Romano was headbutting Spain again, Italy was blissfully unaware and England was paying more attention to Spain getting headbutted.

_Ding~!_

Everyone started in surprise and whirled to stare at the offending oven which had finished preheating.

"It was just the oven..." Canada said.

"Yeah, yeah." Brooke said.

"I knew that." Dakota replied.

"Of course it was the oven." England said sheepishly.

"Oof!" Spain grunted as he was, once again, headbutted by Romano.

"You know, I'm wondering if Nincompoop is taking any internal damage from those headbutts." Brooke said.

"I'm more worried about Romano getting brain damage from doing the headbutts." Dakota said.

"So, where should we go to get the costumes?" Brooke asked.

"Well, there is that new costume store in town. Woah, mind your step Romano!" Dakota said, bracing Romano as he staggered after headbutting Spain.

"Cool. Wait, seat belts. We have a total of eight people, so we take two cars." Brooke thought. "I hope we don't get that many more units."

"After brownies." Canada said, pulling freshly baked brownies out of the oven.

* * *

><p>(Dakota's Car)<p>

"France! Hands to yourself!" Dakota yelled, driving with her left hand to smack away his hand.

"Bwahaha-hahaha!" England laughed.

"England, stop laughing and keep France from bothering me!" Dakota ordered.

"You are no fun like Méjico!" Spain complained.

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Dakota barked.

The silence only lasted a minute before France tried to creep his hand over.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Dakota demanded. "Do you think girls enjoy having their personal space invaded?"

"Uh..." France started.

"Don't answer that. I need to explain something to you. Culture on this side of the Atlantic is quite different from Europe. For one, most of us greet each other with anything from a nod to a wave or greeting. Kissing is pretty much restricted to European-raised, couples, married people, grandparents, and whores. Hugs depend on how well you know the person and if they have personal space issues or if they are family. Other greetings depend on the relation between the two people." Dakota stated.

"So you are saying?" France asked.

"Let me put it in kindergarten terms. You no touch me." Dakota said, separating the words.

* * *

><p>(Brooke's Car)<p>

"That was a little mean ditching Dakota." Canada said.

"Who cares?" Romano asked.

"We ditched her with France, Spain, and England. She is going to rip off our heads or have France and Spain finally under control." Brooke said. Just then her phone rang, blaring 'Darth Vader's Theme'. "Answer that carefully Canada, that's Dakota."

"Bonjour?" Canada said hesitantly.

"Tell Brooke I am still Supreme Master." Dakota said through the phone.

"Damn it all! How did you manage it?" Brooke said.

"Yelling."

* * *

><p>(At the Costume store)<p>

"My own cloak is better than all of these!" Arthur exclaimed. "I'll use it instead."

"Vee! These are so cute!" Feliciano spazzed over the nearby selection of Cat Costumes.

"Hm? I guess so Feliciano." Arthur replied, giving a glare in the opposite direction where Francis was picking out a set of devil horns.

"Oh? They have hockey masks? I guess I could do a hockey ghost. If we get Alfred it would scare him, mehehe-heheh." Matthew laughed softly.

"You costume better be on par with the level your brownies were." Brooke said. "By that I mean flipping awesome."

"Ah, thanks." Matthew smiled.

"Come on Lovino! At least try it on!" Dakota pleaded, holding a Phantom of the Opera mask.

"I am not wearing that mask!" Lovino argued.

"Try it on!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Just try the thing on already! It's just to see how it would look on you." Dakota tried again.

"Heh...fine." Lovino sighed and put on the white mask. "Happy?"

"Meh. You could do a werewolf better. I'll put the mask away." Dakota said.

"Thank you!" Lovino pulled off the mask and handed it back. He looked at the werewolf selection.

"Hey, Antonio!" Dakota turned around. "Antonio? Where'd you go?"

"Nincompoop is missing?" Brooke asked worriedly, a ways away.

"He could be hitting on a girl." Lovino offered.

"He's talking to the cashier." Arthur pointed. The group all looked out around the shelves at the check-out counter, where the annoying Spaniard was talking to the _female_ cashier.

"Of course." Dakota said darkly.

"Hey Nincompoop, did you figure out what you were going to dress up as?" Brooke asked.

The cashier and Antonio laughed at some joke, completely ignoring them.

"Go ahead, it's not like we have anything more important to do today." Lovino scowled.

"Vee? Are we doing something?" Feliciano asked. "We should go out for some gelato~!"

"I don't think they have gelato places here, Feliciano." Arthur said. "All they have are ice cream."

"Vee, that's good too." Feliciano said happily. Lovino rolled his eyes in annoyance.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I don't know if any of you other manual fic writers decided to include holidays like Halloween, but I'm going to try. Next chapter is probably going to be better, hopefully with more chaos. Halloween is plot-important, so dates are much more important now.**

**For why all of them didn't have work... uh... they weren't working that day. I seriously need to actually write out work schedules for them... (if you want to suggest jobs or working hours, **_**please**_** do so)**

**Read and Review please!**


	5. I Choose You! China and Prussia?

**A/N: Hello again. This story is going to go on a few month delay due to Marching Band and school starting up. Chapter 6 is nearly done and when Chapter 7 is going to be started is unknown. Thank you for continuing to read this even with my horrible updating schedule!**

**I only own Brooke and Dakota and the humor. All copyrighted materials are being used under the fair use clause.**

* * *

><p>(a week later, really early in the morning)<p>

"Nygh..." Brooke moaned softly as she carefully put her shoes away. She then walked up to her room, carefully avoiding the squeaky step and floor board, pulled on her pajamas before climbing into bed to fall asleep.

"Vee? Brooke? Brooke?" Italy pestered.

"Mmm..." Brooke groaned, turning away from him.

"Brooke!" Italy exclaimed softly.

"...What?" Brooke said sleepily.

"There's a spider in my room." Italy whimpered. Brooke got up, grabbed a boot, and walked over to the Italian's room. There was a large sized spider, which Brooke promptly smashed with the boot.

"Go to sleep." She ordered, walking back to her room.

"Vee, I don't want to sleep in there though." Italy said. He climbed onto Brooke's bed. "I can sleep with you, right?"

"No. I'm sleeping downstairs. Don't bug me." Brooke grabbed an extra blanket and pillow. She curled up on the couch and fell asleep.

_Ding~dong. Ding~dong. Ding~dong._

Brooke stumbled off the couch, mumbling incoherently. She opened the door.

"Yeah?" she asked, not caring she looked horrible.

"Pakage for a Dako-" Deliveryman number Five read off.

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme sign." Brooke said, taking the signature pad and pen and scrawled a completely indecipherable squiggle. He took the pan and handed her the manuals as he wheeled in the two crates. Brooke sat down leaning against the crates and looked at the two manuals, uttering gibberish in multiple languages.

"Nihao...mgh, da... Magicarp...Nein..." She mumbled. "Soumi... masen."

"..." the crates replied.

"Better open them, yeah." Brooke said, picking up the crowbar from where they had put it nearby and pulled the lid off one of the crates before sitting down again.

An Asian boy carefully peaked his head out of the crate, looking cautiously around for anyone. He saw Brooke sitting against the crate with the crowbar.

"Pst!" the other crate whispered. "Hey!"

"Hm? You are awake too, aru?" He replied quietly, guessing the girl was asleep.

The Asian boy ducked his head down as Brooke got up and opened a small box that came with the other one.

"Aw...so cute...nyaa..." Brooke said sleepily. The boy pulled himself up to see what was 'so cute.'

It was a little yellow chick.

He carefully pulled himself out of the crate just as the other one started trying to break open the crate.

_Wham. Wham!_

A blue-uniformed albino stood there. Just then the girl lost consciousness, getting caught by the albino and dropping the chick who was rescued by the Asian boy.

"Uh..." The albino said.

"Let's put her on the couch." the other said. The two had just laid her down when a thick-browed Brit came walking carefully down the stairs.

"What? Brooke!" England exclaimed fairly loudly, before dropping his volume. "What happened?"

"She passed out on me." the albino said.

"England! Hush!" Dakota exclaimed softly. She came down the stairs carefully as well. "Oh hi."

"Nihao." the Asian replied.

"Let's take this outside." Dakota said, leading the three others outside and picking up the two dropped manuals.

"Alright then, why outside?" England asked.

"Because Brooke is asleep." Dakota said. "Now introductions. I'm Dakota, this is England, the other girl was Brooke."

"Prussia. So the girl that passed out on me was Brooke?" Prussia asked.

"Yeah. Sorry, she does that if she is extremely tired. She had to restock last night." Dakota said.

"My name is China." China greeted.

"Since we are outside, we normally go by our human names." England explained. "For example, I go by Arthur Kirkland."

"Ah, so I would be Wang Yao, aru." China mused. "Or western Yao Wang."

"Gil Beilschmidt." Prussia stated.

"Wait, you are the Female version, but you are not going by the normal female name." Dakota noticed, looking at the manual. "Or am I losing my ability to read English correctly?"

"So? I'm Awesomer than the Julchens." Prussia defended. "The girl ones have a lower level of Awesome than me."

"Why is Méjico asleep on the couch?" Spain said walking out to where the four others were.

"She'll tell us when she gets up." England stated. "Everyone was warned not to wake her at any cost, except these two."

"I think that will be a little earlier." Spain said, turning back to the house. There was Brooke, wrapped in her blanket.

"France was being France." Brooke said.

"He. Is. Dead." Dakota stormed past the two, cracking her knuckles. The others followed to see the result.

"Fra-nce! I have something for you!" Dakota called sickly sweet. France looked over from the couch before paling.

"Ahhhh!" France yelled as he ran away from Dakota, who had bipolared back to Rage.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later his legs were tied to the back of a chair and his wrists handcuffed with the handcuffs Dakota had in her bag. Dakota was happily propping her feet up on the chair, eating a slice of bread with Nutella on it.<p>

"Why do you have handcuffs in your bag and rope in multiple closets and drawers aru?" China asked.

"For times like these." Dakota said, taking another bite of bread.

"Has this ever happened before?" Prussia asked, also with a slice of bread with Nutella on it.

"Everyday for the last week, France does something and Dakota punishes him." England said. "Though her methods are odd."

"Isn't there something in your Constitution against Cruel and Unusual Punishment?" France pleaded from the floor.

"It's in the Bill of Rights. But you are French, not American." Dakota stated. "Deal with it Frog."

"She got you there papa." Canada said, also propping his feet on the chair. "Think he's going to learn, eh?"

"Who knows?" Dakota replied. "Brooke, are you really going to drink that coffee?"

"I'm awake, so I better get the sleepies out of my head." Brooke said, holding the cup.

"Okay then. So, wait, we got the whole Bad Friends Trio!" Dakota said. "Excluding the fact that you are a Fem Unit."

"Are we really the Bad Friends Trio if we have a girl?" Spain asked.

"Non!" France yelled from the floor.

"I'm Awesome enough to though!" Prussia argued.

_Whump._

Everyone looked at Brooke, who had fallen asleep. Dakota took the cup full of coffee away from her sister's hands and placed it a few inches away.

"So much for awake." Dakota sighed. She glanced at a clock. "Canada, you are in charge until I get back from my doctor's appointment or Brooke wakes up!"

She then grabbed her keys to her car and hurried out the door.

"Who?"

"That's me." Canada waved from his chair. "Mr. Kuma, please babysit Papa until I can get back over here."

He then proceeded to set the polar bear cub, which everyone guessed was pretty light, seeing him carry it around easily, on France.

"Oof!" France grunted as the bear was set on his stomach. "How much does he weigh?"

"Mr. Kuma? Oh, 22 to 27 kilograms." Canada replied, picking up Brooke to put her back on the couch.

"That much?" Everyone left exclaimed.

"So?" Canada replied, walking back in the room. "And shush, Brooke is sleeping."

* * *

><p>"Hi sister!" Brooke said happily as her sister walked back inside.<p>

"Yo." Dakota replied, pulling off her boots and jacket. "Good news, next spring I'm back in action."

"The doctor okay-ed your wrist?" Brooke exclaimed.

"The doctor and nurses had to take an X-Ray and physical therapy had to check it to make sure. I was there for three flippin hours just for a the all clear." Dakota said. "Where's France?"

"Watching Disney movies with Canada." Brooke said, pouring popcorn into a bowl. "We're trying to reprogram him as best we can."

"Or scar him." Dakota replied. "Where's China and Prussia? Along with the Italies, Spain, and England."

"China found my old bin of stuffed animals, Prussia is at war with the closet moths, Italies and Spain are at work with England." Brooke reported.

"Die spider! Die!"

"And the spiders." Brooke added after Prussia's shout from upstairs. "Italy's room is especially infested."

"Oh Mein Gott! The spider is on my head!" Prussia screamed, running downstairs. "Get it off! Get it off!"

Canada grabbed a tissue and brushed the spider off and stepped on it with his shoe.

"Hey, Dakota's back." Prussia said, walking over and calming down. "So what was the doctor's appointment about?"

"I busted my wrist a few months back, it was a check up to see if it healed." Dakota said.

"You didn't bust it though." Brooke said. "That man did."

"I smell a story here. Tell me." Prussia said, sitting on a stool.

"Dakota was finishing up a knights demo with the reenactment group she worked with when this guy comes up to the group. Dakota was in full armor with a sword, and he was just in normal civilian clothes, but he drew a knife. Dakota ordered him to back off, walking over to him. He tried to knife someone in the crowd, but Dakota got in the way, her armor protecting her. She drew her sword and ordered him to stand down, but he attacked her. Dakota fell on her wrist oddly and then managed to twist around after he put his foot on her back to stab his leg with the sword. Then two of the other knights, who were both big guys, pulled crazy knife dude off her." Brooke explained.

"And how do you know this?" Prussia asked.

"Oh, I was standing near the person he was trying to knife. I called the police as the two men restrained him." Brooke replied.

"He was trying to attack a young girl." Dakota said. "My friends said I must of been a soldier or knight in a past life or something."

"Sounds like it!" Prussia laughed. "But you are a girl, isn't it obvious about your true gender when you are in costume?"

Dakota dropped her head in shame. Brooke facepalmed.

"Kota-kun wears guy shirts for a reason. There isn't much chest volume there to cover." Brooke said.

"Shut up Brooke." Dakota said and slapped the back of Brooke's head.

"Ow! Now I have sympathy for DiNozzo on NCIS." Brooke said.

"You look like a guy?" Prussia said. "That cause any problems?"

"A couple times..." Dakota admitted.

"That would stink." Prussia agreed.

"Brooke, did you burn the popcorn or something eh?" Canada asked.

"Coming!" Brooke hurried over with the bowl of popcorn to where France was tied to a chair and Canada was sitting on the couch. "Resume reprogramming sequence, now."

"What's China doing?" Dakota asked. "And how fares our soldier against the Spider and Moth hordes?"

"I don't know about China...and you really had to make that sound bigger than that really was, didn't you." Prussia responded.

"Of course!" Dakota smiled. "Now let's check on China to make sure he hasn't drowned in plush."

The two walked upstairs and opened the door to China's room. China had his back to them and was playing with the stuffed animals.

"Cute! Help me build the great wall!" China said, then laughed. Dakota and Prussia closed the door carefully.

"Psycho China." Dakota said.

"_Ja_." Prussia replied, pale faced. "_Ja_."

* * *

><p>"Mein Gott!" Prussia shouted again. Once again a spider had decided to land on her head.<p>

"Get it off!" Dakota yelled, also with one of the suicidal spiders on her head.

"I swear you two are spider magnets!" Brooke exclaimed as Canada swatted off the Arachnids, which were numbers 9 and 10 in the now growing spider graveyard on the bottom of Canada's boot. France shuddered, Disney movie marathon had finally cracked him.

Just in time for the others to get back from work.

"Hello all. What did we miss?" England said, walking over.

"Disney movie marathon to crack France, Prussia and Dakota getting ten spiders on their heads between the two of them, and China is cooking dinner." Brooke listed off. "Other than that, nothing!"

"Disney movies?" England said incredulously.

"It worked." Brooke shrugged. She then shivered, despite the temperature. "Though I might have nightmares as well."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow, Prussia is a controversial character. CanDoAnythingNow and myself had a two page-long color rant over her uniform. In 72 point Bold Times New Roman font. Prussian Blue vs Anime Black.**

**Kumajirou's weight is based on actual Polar bear cub weights, the US standard weight is roughly 50 to 60 pounds. Or the weight of a small child. Canada's got some serious muscle.**

**Poor France, Disney movie marathon should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.  
><strong>

**Read and Review please! Or there will be more suicidal spider attacks...**


	6. Here Comes Germany and Russia!

**A/N: Dakota's mini-rant on Halloween mostly came from memory, backed up with Google. Sorry it's a bit short, but I updated quicker than normal!  
><strong>

**All referenced material is being used under the fair use clause. Brooke and Dakota are our own creation.**

* * *

><p>"We have two weeks!" Brooke said, looking at the calendar. "Two weeks to Halloween!"<p>

"You know that Halloween was originally a Celtic festival called Samhain mixed with two Roman celebrations, the Feast of Pomona who was the goddess of fruits and seeds and Parentalia which was to honor the dead, and then the name comes from the Scottish term for the event 'All-Hallows-Even'. The Christian church then tried to make it lighter by putting the next day 'All Saints' Day' for the Saints." Dakota said, looking at the newspaper.

"You just read that off the page." Brooke argued.

"No I didn't. I actually knew that off memory." Dakota replied.

"She isn't lying." England added, looking at the newspaper.

_**Ding~dong**_

"I'll get it!" Prussia yelled, stumbling as she opened the door. "Hello?"

"Delivery for Dakota Roth." the deliveryman read off.

"Dakota! It's for you!" Prussia yelled. Dakota then stumbled as she came over.

"Yes, oh sh-nap, it isn't more units?" Dakota said.

"Sorry miss, can you sign here please?" He said politely.

"Keep up being polite, you'll get a good girlfriend." Dakota said as she wrote down her name. He wheeled in the two crates.

"I'll keep that in mind. Here are the manuals, have a nice day." He waved.

"You too." Dakota looked at the manual titles after she closed the door. "Oh H-E-double hockey sticks!"

"What?" Prussia looked at the manuals. "Yay and Oh-!"

Prussia covered her mouth to keep from swearing in German.

**Ludwig: User Guide and Manual**

**Ivan Braginski: User Guide and Manual**

* * *

><p>"Guys? We need to be careful, we have both Germany and Russia in crates." Dakota announced carefully to the table. Immediately everyone voiced their opinions.<p>

"What?" (Spain)

"Oh dammit, it's the potato bastard!" (Romano)

"At least it's not the git." (England)

"Vee, Germany!" (Italy)

"We are so dead meat." (Brooke)

"No, aru!" (China)

"Oh non." (France)

"I'm not waking either up." (Canada)

"Order! Order! One at a time!" Prussia ordered. "We need to arrange our attack strategy!"

"We should probably get your brother out first, he'll probably won't go crazy on us." Brooke thought aloud. Everyone seated, excluding Romano who had stood up to object having Germany, agreed.

"Oui!" (France)

"Seems like a good idea aru." (China)

"Vee, sì!" (Italy)

"Oui." (Canada)

"Fine with me." (England)

"Sì!" (Spain)

"Sounds good." (Brooke)

"I don't like it." Romano objected.

"Why don't you agree Romano? I agree." Spain asked.

"Or is it on your policy that my bruder is a so-called 'potato bastard'?" Prussia asked. "If it is, then I am ignoring your un-awesome input and we will wake up my little bruder first."

Romano opened his mouth to respond, then shut his mouth.

"Good." Prussia stated sharply. "Now I'm going to go try to get him up since this manual is so not-awesome." She threw the papers down randomly on the table in her irritation at the lack of proper information about her brother, even though it would be weird to have it be correct.

"Go ahead Prussia, do your best." Dakota said. "We'll try to find a fail-proof way to get Russia awake."

She smiled and walked over to the Crate which was Germany's.

"WEST!" She half-shouted, sounding more like the regular version of the Unit. "West!"

_**WHAM!**_

"What do you want?" Germany asked.

"SH! Not so loud. Come on." Prussia dragged her brother over to the kitchen. "We all need your help trying to get the other unit, Russia, awake without killing or maiming any of us."

"Anyone able to imitate Belarus?" Germany asked, looking at the manual on the table.

Silence welcomed the question.

"Well?"

"We could rip a sound clip from Hetalia." Dakota offered.

"Go try that." Germany said. Dakota walked over to the TV.

"Better yet, we could just use the episode." Dakota said, putting in the disk. "Brooke, what episode was Belarus breaking into Russia's room?"

"I dunno."

"Thanks." Dakota muted the TV and started skipping past each episode. "Bingo!"

Dakota paused it and turned up the volume. Then she pressed play.

"Big brother?" the TV called, before being re-paused as the box started shaking.

"Go away!" the box whimpered. Dakota and Germany pulled off the box lid.

"Russia, it's okay, your sister isn't here." Dakota said, after turning off the TV.

"Ah. Thank you, comrade." Russia said, straightening up and climbing out of the crate. He noticed the other crate and Germany.

"One of the rules you need to know about this household is that there is to be no rape or molestation of all other household members. France can attest that I will punish for that offense." Dakota stated. "Now then, come meet the others."

The countries warily watched Dakota walk in with the two taller units.

"Hello, Comrade Prussia." Russia greeted.

"Stay clear and I won't stab you through with my sword." Prussia threatened.

"Prussia, I don't want to clean up Russia's blood so please do not stab him." Dakota said. "Or poison, suffocate, shoot, or any other method to kill him."

"Aw... mind reader." Prussia said, making a pouting face.

"Same goes for you, Canada and Kumajirou, against other Units as well." Dakota added. "Russia, you are also in this category."

"Why specify just those Units? Those two are also violent!" France said, pointing to England and Germany.

"I already told England not to curse anyone, and I expect Germany to keep a cool head and not try to murder anyone." Dakota replied.

"Besides, you are all technically very violent in comparison to the normal citizen in each respective country." Brooke added. "For example, Manzanar and the other Internment camps out West. Plenty of Americans are ashamed we even dared do something like that."

"Exclude all the ones that want to do the same with practically any country's citizens and family the US has ever had a disagreement with and the Israelis just because." Dakota reminded her sister.

"And people that think Florida is a separate country." Brooke grinned. "Some of them can't even come to terms about Alaska joining the Union in the '50s."

"Idiots. All of them. We should dump them in Cuba." Dakota said. "Let them run another fail attempt to drive the Communist dictator out."

"Americans still do not like communists?" Russia asked.

"No, it was a joke about letting them all commit suicide on a pointless mission that they believe strongly in." Dakota shrugged. "Most people don't get it."

"Did you know that we even have a Naval base in Cuba? We pay the lease by check, but Cuba has refused to cash them for decades." Brooke added. "I think they hate us more than we hate them."

"So in reality, it seems we got over our hate of communists as a country, but the others haven't gotten over their hate of the Salad Bowl of the World." Dakota laughed.

"Ow! Stop poking me!" Romano yelped suddenly, jumping up and away from the Spaniard.

"Aw mi tomate, why do you blame me?" Spain asked.

"Because you are sitting next to me!" Romano accused.

"He has a point, you know." England said, taking a sip of the tea China and him had prepared after Dakota had left to get Russia.

"Vee, I'm hungry!" Italy exclaimed.

"That was random, aru." China noted. "We ate not that long ago, Italy."

"There should be something in the pantry, it shouldn't be too hard to find something."

"That's what she said!" France immediately added

_**THUD**_

"And that is why you always lost wars." Prussia scowled, making sure her punch to his head made her point.

"I have not lost that many wars!" France objected from the floor.

"Name one then." Prussia crossed her arms.

"Ah, er..." France delayed. "Um..."

"I think it would have to be World Wars for the latest victory." Dakota said. "And back in Roman times for the next one."

"That's harsh!" France said. "I must of won some other war!"

"Well, most of the time you were piggy-backing on other countries, or buying yourself out of the war." Dakota said thinking. "I don't know if we can count Napoleon toward a victory, he got kicked out twice by England."

"Maybe there was a war we don't learn about during the Age of Exploration?" Brooke offered.

"I dunno. I mean, we really don't even focus on our own losses. Vietnam, Bay of Pigs, War of 1812, any other losses?" Dakota said. "Wait, no, that one wouldn't make it into a European textbook. Never mind."

"America does tend to be on the winning side aru." China noted.

"Yeah, never really thought about it that way." Brooke said.

"I wouldn't call some wars 'wins' though. The American Civil War for one. I mean with what's going on in Florida, 'n' all, I wonder if the Deep South ever got the lesson." Dakota said. "Federal Courts should be able to straighten everything out though, they haven't gotten a big thing like this in years."

"Americans still confuse me." England stated over his cup of tea.

"Well no duh, we believe everyone has a right to be different and they are free to express it." Brooke grinned and gave a thumbs up, surprisingly like one America gave at a World War II war meeting.

"I'd raise my toast to that." Dakota said, lifting up the piece of bread she was eating. Most everyone either smiled or laughed, Germany and Russia just had dumbfounded expressions on their faces.

China then went back to possessively petting his new stuffed animal dog whispering something in Chinese. Prussia had a bet that it was something along the lines of 'my precious'. So far, no one had bet against her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The thing about American being the "Salad Bowl of the World" came from my American Lit teacher, we don't assimilate-we form little clumps.  
><strong>

** My Hetalia manga in English confuses me. And I quote: "However, Silesia remained in Austria's clutches, and the war ended with the signing of the Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle."**

**Actual War Result: Prussia took control of Silesia, Spain received some formerly Austrian-controlled Italian territory, France had to withdraw from Netherlands to get Cape Breton Island back and return Madras in India to England along with the Barrier towns to the Dutch, and two countries Austria conquered were restored.**

**WARNING: This, and possibly Chapter 7, will be the last chapter(s?) posted for a while. Defiantly around Thanksgiving/December when more chapters will be posted. I might post some before then if I finish them quickly. I am NOT abandoning this story, just high school is being it's usual self and getting in the way of free-writing.**


	7. Loudmouth and Awkward

**A/N: Trying to slip this in amid my crazy school schedule, it's going to be weaker due to the time I spent doing homework/essays/outlines/journalism. Wow, I forgot to get this chapter ready for Halloween. Sorry about that guys. Wow, lots of arguments and references to previous chapters.**

**Brooke and Dakota are the only things I own, ANYTHING else mentioned is NOT mine.**

* * *

><p>"Give it back!"<p>

"No!"

"It's mine!"

"No!"

"Shut up you two!" Romano yelled at Brooke and China. Spain continued singing a random song softly.

"No!" the two yelled simultaneously.

"That's mine!"

"No!"

"MINE!"

"NO!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!" England scolded loudly from his seat at the kitchen table.

"MINE!"

"NO!"

"Order, order!" Prussia barked in vain. Italy was waving his white flag sobbing, Germany slammed his door shut upstairs, Russia was watching the situation happily, France had ran outside at the start of the argument and Canada turned up the volume on the TV.

Ding dong.

Dakota hurried out of the room over to the front door, hoping for divine intervention in the argument over the stuffed animal cat. She opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door quickly.

"Thank goodness you are here, I need more man power to settle an argument." Dakota thanked the deliveryman, who was shocked at the praise. He never got thanked for these packages, most of the time he was cursed at, almost killed or injured by something or someone.

"Uh...sure?" he said in amazement and handed over the signature pad and manuals.

**Alfred F. Jones: User Guide and Manual**

**Kiku Honda: User Guide and Manual**

"Oh darn, I was hoping for Switzerland." Dakota said, handing back the pad. "I guess America and Japan are fine though."

"You'll need good luck to deal with those." Deliveryman said, regaining his memory of model phrases.

"Psh, I have to deal with the rest of the Allies and Axis **plus** Tomboy!Fem Prussia, Canada, Romano, and my sister on a daily basis. America and Japan won't be the biggest trouble makers." Dakota shook a loose piece of hair out of her face.

The deliveryman wisely left then as he heard a large crash and various shouts and screams from inside the house. Dakota paled.

"America! Japan! Get up!" Dakota yelled and kicked both crates hard. "Get up, get up, get up, get up!"

She regretted not looking at all at the manuals for a second, before deciding that immediate action was truly necessary.

"America! I need a Hero!" Dakota screamed. One box had its top punched of and America kicked down a side. "Japan, I need your help as well!"

"What might it be?" Japan asked, ninja appearing next to Dakota. She noticed France cowering behind a tree.

"I think the Iroquois called it, 'aggressive neutrality'." Dakota stated and opened the door into chaos.

Also seen as, China attacking England who was allied with Prussia and other countries all over the place in various levels of engagement in the fight, with some others not immediately visible but very audible. Such as Romano's, Canada's, and the TV's loud, colorful swearing or shouting in multiple languages. Japan and America immediately entered the fray to restrain China and England. Prussia was trying to disengage from the fight as soon as the door opened, remembering a promise made a few days ago not to get into fights.

"The bookcase broke again." Romano stated over his shoulder as he was trying to comfort his crying brother and get him out from under the table.

"I'm okay too!" Brooke said, coming out from her hiding place beneath the table. Italy was then dragged out by the two and put in a righted kitchen chair as he was still hysterical.

"Where's the cat?" Dakota demanded. Russia held up the offending stuffed animal by it's tail. Dakota took it from him.

"What are you going to do with it aru?" China asked, ceasing his struggling against Japan with a scared expression.

"I'm going to get rid of this if you two are going to fight over it!" Dakota replied. Brooke's face matched China's in disbelief.

"No! You can't do that!" Brooke whined.

"Italy, here you go." Dakota handed the still sobbing Italian the toy.

"Vee..._grazie_." Italy smiled and cuddled the stuffed animal. Brooke and China stared in disbelief at the situation.

"It is for the best," Spain said. "You two were arguing like _chico_."

"I am not childish!" China squirmed in outrage.

"China-san, prease carm down!" Japan said, still attempting to restrain the irate Oriental nation.

"All I was doing was defending Brooke!" England objected to his restraining.

"America, you can let him go." Dakota said. America let go of England, who promptly stood up straight and smoothed out invisible wrinkles in his shirt. He gave a stink-eye at the younger country.

"Git."

"China, calm down; you have other stuffed animals." Dakota said. "You are making a fool of yourself."

Japan released China, who disappeared to sulk. France returned inside and Canada turned down the TV volume. America noticed the other blond lounging on the couch with the TV remote.

"Hey Canada! Anything good on?" America plopped down next to the other North American country.

"No. Your shows are crap." Canada said, changing channels.

"Yours are no better." America retorted.

"Mine are better than yours America." England boasted.

"I like Doctor Who and Torchwood." Prussia stated. "But some of the others..."

"No one has perfect TV." Spain replied. "That is why getting outside is much better."

"I agree with Nincompoop." Brooke stated.

"See? _Méjico_even agrees with me." Spain smiled.

"I am not Mexico!" Brooke argued.

"And here we go again." Canada said bored already.

"Enough arguing Brooke!" Romano yelled, already trying to fix the bookcase. Again.

"Every time you argue, the bookcase suffers." Russia stated, sitting down on one of the chairs watching everyone like the stalker he was.

"Oh. You have Russia here too." America noticed the pale-haired man. He waved. "Hi."

"_привет Америки._" Russia replied. The room held in its breath in the pause that followed.

America, however, grinned happily. "You might want to speak in English, I don't think some others here understood you _Россия._"

"Да, да. I understand America." Russia gave his creepy head-tilt smile. Dakota quickly opened America's manual and scanned the page. Apparently America was a walking translator for a large number of languages. Who knew?

"Hey, Halloween is right around the corner isn't it?" America asked the assembled group.

"Yeah, why don't I like that look in your eyes?" Dakota asked, eyeing the blond carefully.

"We are on the Eastern Seaboard! You mean you don't like Haunted Halloweens?" America asked. "Absurd!"

"You are just the least likely person to suggest something like that." England stated.

"No, he really isn't." Canada replied. "Scare the heck out of teens, get candy; it's everything he likes to do."

America gave a warning glare at the Canadian.

"Enough arguing," Japan stated and went to go see if he could help with the bookcase.

"Wait, how many sibling pairs do we have?" Brooke asked.

"Uh...everyone except Spain and Russia have siblings here." Dakota said after pausing to think.

"That's actually a relief you don't have either of Russia's." Prussia stated.

"Why?" Brooke asked.

"Belarus is a knife-wielding, incest-driven maniac." Prussia replied.

"Ukraine has a bit of another problem." Russia continued. The others in the room looked at the tall northern country curious. "With the accidental radiation; she is not mentally older."

"Poor girl; mentally a child, physically a well-endowed woman," Dakota said, sympathizing with the 'older' sister to Russia. "Fans get her so very, very wrong."

A few sympathetic nods and curious looks accompanied Dakota's statement, but no one pushed further on the topic. Talking about Russia was like walking on thin ice, you never knew when it was going to break.

Besides, the bookcase wasn't fixed yet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Done! CanDoAnything has an interesting view point on why Ukraine acts like she does.** **I expect Chapter Eight to be out later this week and possibly Chapter Nine might tag along if I finish them quickly enough! Also, chapters will be shorter from here on out. I'll try to write them faster, but I'm also trying to map out the HetaOni mansion on MS Paint so I don't forget a whole bunch of rooms. I'll post it on my DeviantART (under the same name) when I'm finished, but it will be really a really shoddy job.  
><strong>

**Read and Review please! It's really encouraging! :D  
><strong>


	8. The First Encounter

**A/N: The concept of 'Shades' does not belong to me, it belongs to Eragon's writer Christopher Paolini. Or just image a vengeful spirit sort of costume.**

**Brooke and Dakota are my characters, everything else seems to have copyrights.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"It doesn't feel right." Brooke said as she stared up at the building that was on the outskirts of town.<p>

"Every single nerve is screaming at me to run away and never look back." Dakota stated; her body tense.

"I don't understand what you two are feeling, aru." China said.

"You mean you all don't feel it? It feels goddamned unholy and evil!" Prussia exclaimed, standing in the back of the group with the two other girls.

"You three are such girls." America scolded.

"Maybe we should stay with the car." Brooke suggested. England gave them an incredulous expression.

"You agreed until we showed up here." He noted. "And we are just wasting time standing out here."

America herded the three reluctant girls inside the house.

"No escape." Prussia whispered under her breath, unsure of where that statement came from.

As each person stepped across the threshold into the hallway, they seemed to change. Germany seemed to be wearing an actual military uniform complete with weapons, same with the other nations. Prussia now had a rifle across her back, a pistol on her right hip and her sword on her left. Hadn't she left those at home?

"This better not be some cruel Inception joke." Dakota said, before jumping at the change in her own attire. Instead of a black homemade Shade costume, it was more along her original mental design. "Holy effing shit!"

"No swearing Kota." Brooke chastised. Her own outfit had morphed into a more realistic vampire costume.

The group had just finished piling into the hallway when they heard a plate break down one of the hallway branches. They ran down that hallway and found a broken plate without any dust on it, but everywhere it could have come from was dusty.

"Bizarre, wait, where'd the Allies and Brooke go?" Dakota asked. Standing with her was only Germany, Prussia, Veneziano, Romano, and Spain.

"Uh...good question." Romano said, shocked at the sudden disappearance of half of the group. Not that he cared, but it would have been nice if they had taken Spain along as well.

"This can not be good." Japan pointed out a large creature walking across the threshold. It stopped across from them.

"DIE," It droned.

Immediately the countries sprang into action, Romano bothering to yell, "ATTACK!"

A few well-placed bullets later the group was staring at the dissipating form of the creature.

"We should get out of here." Dakota decided and the Axis plus ran for the front door, just to find the wall had sealed over the entryway.

"Nice thought, seems like we are being kept here for some reason." Spain said. Suddenly a piercing scream came from up stairs.

"Go!" Germany yelled and the Axis plus hurried up the stairs, to find France on the floor looking terrified.

"Who screamed?" Japan asked. France silently pointed at the creature walking toward them.

Prussia and Dakota ran out on either side of France attacking it with their swords angrily. It dissipated easily under the barrage of attacks from the two women.

"Where were you? You disappeared and we all ran away from the creature." France demanded, recovering some sense of dignity.

"Your group disappeared on us." Germany stated.

"No, you disappeared on us!" France countered.

"Stop it, we aren't getting anywhere with this argument, right Japan?" Dakota asked.

No one responded. The group whirled around to look at Japan, who was absent.

"Japan?" Romano, Germany, and Italy yelled.

"It's no use; something wanted us in here and wants us separated." Spain stated.

"This isn't a horror movie tomato-bastard." Romano replied.

"Rule 112; always stick together in a group." Dakota stated. "We're already screwing up the guidelines to a horror movie, this might as well be a horror movie."

"We've also already broken rules 80 and 106, don't enter a deserted house and don't go out on Halloween, especially if it's a Friday." Prussia added, shrugging slightly.

"The best solution would be to regroup and get the hell out of here ASAP." Dakota decided. "No more breaking off."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have my new master plan, one that takes me to the end of the story. I might go back and change information in previous chapters when I get time to help the story flow a little better. Life is being, well-life, by throwing a bunch of stuff in the way right now; family visits, doctor appointments, school assignments. I'll do what I can though :)**


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